Marina Sirtis Chat Fansite

Dear Marina,　

 

I hope by the time this package finds its way to you that you are starting to settle into your new home. If you’re not settled, hopefully you are at least in the process of getting relocated. I’m glad that you are not as slow as I am because it’s been 3 years, and I haven’t moved yet!! Doug will be working on our new home until the twins are in college, at least that’s what my Dad says. LOL

 

I was hoping to get this box of chocolates to you in time to help ease some of the moving stressors that you were having. I just thought maybe it would be a little “pick-me-up”. I pray that it also gets to you in the same shape it was in when I picked it up at the candy store. Per the owner’s suggestion, I only got the small box to first see how well I can get it to you without something adverse happening, such as melting from excessive California heat(!). Or if the chocolate tastes OK just in case it ends up sitting somewhere for a long time before it gets forwarded to you.

 

The other 2 gifts were just my way of saying “Thank you” and “I’m so sorry” at the same time. Of course, the coffee cup should be self explanatory. Please know that Doug and I are both so sorry for his clumsiness. Doug rarely admits that he makes mistakes, but he feels awful for not only spilling your coffee ON you, he also spills it so that you didn’t even get a chance to drink it. I feel extremely ashamed by the whole episode. Gosh darn it! It only took me YEARS to get a chance to meet you, and then THAT had to happen. Truth be told, I think your extreme beauty had him flustered! Either way, we are truly sorry. I felt fortunate that you were wearing black, and not the green and blue dresses you had for the trip. I figured I might as well accept my fate as the fan with the clumsy ass husband, so that’s why I had the idea for the coffee cup. And, I will make plans to leave him at home next time!

 

The earrings are just a way to say “Thank You” from the very bottom of my heart for giving me something that I never believed would ever happen, and for making my trip become one of the highlights of my life. I have to admit that I felt awkward on that first day. First of all, I think you can understand that I was totally star-struck. I didn’t know what to say, how to say some of the things that I did say, or even how to act. Really, I didn’t start to feel relaxed talking to you without getting “all nervous inside” until Sunday, …and then it was time to leave. I’m not sure why you chose to spend some time with me, but I feel forever thankful for it. I was doing fine with everything until later that weekend, when for reasons I won’t even get into, all my “baggage and negative self-esteem” issues came flooding in. I struggled to deal with even why I deserved to have your attention when there were thousands of other fans there who adore you also. Years ago when I first watched TNG and thought how much I admired you, I never believed that I would ever have a chance to talk with you on a personal level. Please know that your act of kindness is a treasure to me.

 

(Even though I have never gone through counseling for my issues, I usually survive and keep those problems buried where they don’t show up for everyone to see. I am reluctant to speak to anyone on a professional level about my emotional issues because I grew up having my stepmother hammer into my head that I was going to end up “crazy” and bipolar like my Mom and brother. I also was told how I would end up in a mental institution someday. Needless to say, especially since I have dealt with many counselors/psychologists/psychiatrists in caring for my Mom and brother, I have steered clear of almost any counseling for myself. I did seek a small amount of help from a counselor when dealing with my brother’s suicide back in Christmas 2002. I carried guilt for a long time since I felt responsible for him. The counseling did help me to get over those issues concerning my brothers death. I have never dealt with my childhood and abusive stepmother issues. )

 

I saw these earrings (at a Greek owned store!) and immediately thought of you. I would love to find something bigger since you wear larger ones, but they are difficult to find locally. I really would have preferred to have gotten you larger ones before also, but the blue ones were the ONLY ones that were available to match the pendant. This time I went to Greek festivals in attempt to find something that you might enjoy or that might be larger, and I still chose these since they were a Greek symbol. I have always enjoyed giving gifts as my way of saying Thank you to someone.

 

These items (except the candy of course!) were purchased near the time that I came home from Toronto. I tend to be a little slow at getting some things accomplished. I came home and immediately wanted a way to say Thank You for something that has meant so much to me. Over the couple of weeks since then, I have had some comments made to me from fellow Marina fans who have seen you at events since I saw you in Toronto. Minus the spilled coffee, I really hope that I have not upset you in ANY way. I would NEVER want to do that. I try to not let others get me upset, or not to believe everything that someone has to say. But I was told that I might have upset you, and that I should not attempt to go see you anymore. I HOPE this isn’t true, because I would love the opportunity to see you again! Please know that I would NEVER intentionally say something that would offend you. I have been very conscious of what I have told other people after meeting you, especially after so many fellow fans were waiting to see how my experience was. I made a promise to you that I would not speak of the personal things that you told me, and I intend to keep my promise. Since I knew that I would have to say something to those fellow fans, I said that we had a small chat, you were heckled by security, and of course that Doug was the klutz that he was. I have also tried to be conscientious of the feelings of other fans because I realize that I was fortunate to get a chance to sit down with you for a chat and not every fan gets that chance. I am fully aware that anything I say on Twitter is totally public. For that matter, so is most of the comments I make on Facebook because I tend to forget to make them “private”. I am conscious of the fact that other people see my comments, and I don’t want to offend you or my fellow Marina fans. Also, if I use your name as part of my profile name on Twitter, I feel that I am representing all Marina fans, and I try to be conscious of what that projects to other people as well, unlike some other people who tend to let their thoughts run wild out there. I hope that I haven’t made any comments that you feel have been careless. Of course, the same goes for any of the comments that I have made on your fan forum. Yes, one of the other members and I chatted away several weeks ago and ended up making many entries. We were only sharing our admiration for you, and we aren’t aware that we said anything that would have been offensive to you or any of the other members. Realizing that our chatting was excessive, we went back and deleted many of the comments, and we edited many of the others. I hope none of that is what might have offended you. We only had good intentions.

 

I only want to mention the above because if I did offend you in ANY way, I am terribly sorry. If I did, please accept my sincerest apologies. I truly NEVER want to say anything that would offend you or make you feel like I couldn’t be trusted with our conversation. If I so carelessly did something or said something that made you unhappy with me, I hope that I can be forgiven. You have been my long-time loved inspiration, and that is not going to change for me. I hope that you can just know how much you kindness has meant to me. I feel blessed to have been able to have the opportunity to finally meet you, let you know who I am, and just how much I have admired you.

 

Many blessings to you